Trying new things is hard…
We all know that doing new things can be tricky and sometimes scary. But I learned this week that sometimes, the aftermath can be a struggle, too. After years of being on the fence about putting myself out there, I did a thing. I started an online art journaling workshop. The whole process, from idea to manifestation, has been a huge growing experience. I want to share what, for some, may be one of the most complex parts of growth: the vulnerability hangover.
I was buzzing with energy and excitement in the days leading up to my first class. I have been facilitating art classes for years, but this one felt different for many reasons. It comes down to feeling very exposed and vulnerable in a way I haven't been before.
The class was beautiful. I love sharing art and creating spaces for people to explore creative expression. People asked great questions, we had friendly and joyful conversations, and, best of all, we were making art!
As an art therapist, I know that art is the soul's language. When we allow ourselves to create from a grounded and connected place, our inner world shows up in the art. My mission in life is to create safe places for this to happen. Well, it did. The work each of us made was profoundly personal and meaningful. Even more, when we were able to share our artwork and experiences, we created a sacred, supportive space and grew in connection with each other. It was breathtaking.
For me, the experience of sharing was very natural. At my core, I am a healer and helper, so holding space was a natural process for me. However, after the class, my inner critic showed full force with questions, fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. This is known as a vulnerability hangover.
In discussing my experience, a friend shared the phrase vulnerability hangover. Without a doubt, I knew that was what I was experiencing. Dr. Brene Brown uses this phrase to describe the emotional turbulence we experience after undertaking an emotional risk, or "putting ourselves out there ." For me, I experienced self-doubt and the what-ifs. What if it was too hard and people didn't come back? Is this the work I want to "put out there"? Oof.
Vulnerability hangovers can be exhausting mentally and can last for hours or days. Feelings of fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, and self-doubt can all show up after taking that brave leap of faith. These feelings often keep us from taking emotional risks in the first place! So what do you do?
Showing up as your authentic self takes tremendous courage because of the risk of rejection. These open, honest spaces may feel foreign, but they have the potential to create amazing connections and pathways to healing. So here are a few things I do to help myself overcome the aftermath of vulnerability.
Self-compassion: I am a human being. Perfectly imperfect. This crazy world we live in can sometimes be challenging. I remind myself that I really am trying my best. No negative self-talk here!
Grace: Growth rarely happens in our comfort zone. We learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I give myself grace for my mistakes, knowing they are signposts of healing and growth.
Lean into it: I remember that I am different from everyone's favorite flavor of ice cream. The world is made up of so many kinds of people. My energy, tone, and/or offering will only be the best fit for some. That is OK. For some, my offering will be precisely what they are looking for.
Notice the gems: I did something brand new, outside my comfort zone; what a brave thing! Since that day, I have also been productive in areas I neglected. It feels as though energy is moving again.
The journey to liberate and manifest your creative soul requires courage, self-compassion, and dedication. Sometimes, the roller coaster of emotions doesn't stop immediately after we do the big thing. Be gentle with yourself, and know that with every step, you are moving closer to showing up as the person the world needs you to be. Thank you for being your courageous self.
